6. Be positive and focus on the good.

No one is perfect. We can all find something to be disappointed about with our partner and our relationship. Staying focused on the negative; however, only erodes feelings of good will. It is much easier to cheat on someone you are upset with than it is someone that you really like and respect. If you find yourself thinking about the negative, stop that thought. Do you need to have a conversation with your partner about the issue or do you need to let it go? Think about good things about him or her and find ways to appreciate the good in your relationship.

5. Talk openly about sex.

While affairs are rarely just about sex, often, they may be about a need or a desire to have an active sex life … or sometimes just to be touched and held. If you are unhappy with your intimate life, talk with your partner (and not with someone else) about it.

Read more of our articles about healing from an affair on our website, Healing From Affairs.

4. Talk openly about attractions to and from others.

Here is a tip that might seem like the absolutely worst thing to do; however, it is important. Don't keep secrets!

There are a lot of interesting and attractive people in this world. Some of those people might be ones that you see on a regular basis at work, in groups or in the neighborhood. Share your notice of these others with your spouse. Don’t keep it a secret. Talk together about how you might deal with that interest effectively.

Affair-Proof Your Marriage, Suggestion # 3

3. Don’t let hurts or disappointments build. Talk openly about what you want and need from your partner.

Holding on to things that bother you can only build up and cause unhappiness in your marriage. This provides fertile ground for noticing others, especially those who might be available or interested in listening to your complaints.

Be open with your partner in calm, direct and loving ways. Present your concerns in ways that allow for discussion and problem-solving.

Tip of the Week

Even though you are hurt, angry, suspicious, continue to be positive and loving.

Repair, repair, repair … any damage to your relationship while having a disagreement. Winning the argument is much less important than maintaining the friendship. Look for ways to let your partner know that you love him or her, even if you disagree with them. Find ways to use humor, loving comments and positivity while having an argument or disagreeing.

Affair-Proof Your Marriage, Suggestion # 2

2. Limit your contact with people that you might find attractive.

We are all capable of becoming attracted to many different people. There are a lot of nice, interesting and attractive people in this world!

If you find someone of the opposite sex that might fit that description, steer clear unless your spouse is around. If this person might be a co-worker or someone that you might see on your own, limit your contact to work or professional conversations. Be very careful about sharing personal stories or information.

It is amazingly easy for a simple friendship to develop into something much more important.

Tip of the Week

Try not to spend too much time thinking about how hurt you are and how wrong that all of this has been. Focus instead, more on yourself and what you need to do to get to a good place in your life.