4. Talk openly about attractions to and from others.

Here is a tip that might seem like the absolutely worst thing to do; however, it is important. Don't keep secrets!

There are a lot of interesting and attractive people in this world. Some of those people might be ones that you see on a regular basis at work, in groups or in the neighborhood. Share your notice of these others with your spouse. Don’t keep it a secret. Talk together about how you might deal with that interest effectively.

Affair-Proof Your Marriage, Suggestion # 3

3. Don’t let hurts or disappointments build. Talk openly about what you want and need from your partner.

Holding on to things that bother you can only build up and cause unhappiness in your marriage. This provides fertile ground for noticing others, especially those who might be available or interested in listening to your complaints.

Be open with your partner in calm, direct and loving ways. Present your concerns in ways that allow for discussion and problem-solving.

Tip of the Week

Even though you are hurt, angry, suspicious, continue to be positive and loving.

Repair, repair, repair … any damage to your relationship while having a disagreement. Winning the argument is much less important than maintaining the friendship. Look for ways to let your partner know that you love him or her, even if you disagree with them. Find ways to use humor, loving comments and positivity while having an argument or disagreeing.

Affair-Proof Your Marriage, Suggestion # 2

2. Limit your contact with people that you might find attractive.

We are all capable of becoming attracted to many different people. There are a lot of nice, interesting and attractive people in this world!

If you find someone of the opposite sex that might fit that description, steer clear unless your spouse is around. If this person might be a co-worker or someone that you might see on your own, limit your contact to work or professional conversations. Be very careful about sharing personal stories or information.

It is amazingly easy for a simple friendship to develop into something much more important.

Tip of the Week

Try not to spend too much time thinking about how hurt you are and how wrong that all of this has been. Focus instead, more on yourself and what you need to do to get to a good place in your life.

Affair-Proof Your Marriage

There are many ways that faithful couples go about affair-proofing their marriage. In the next few blog entries, we will discuss some of them. We would be interested in your ideas as well. Please share them here with us.

What have you learned about making marriages work? What do you know that you want to do even more to make sure that an affair never happens in your marriage … or never happens again.

1. Start with the attitude of being certain that you will not stray.

Begin with the belief that you will guard against any relationship with another person that could lead to an affair, either an emotional one or a sexual affair.

Recognize that there are many people who are attractive and might be quite attractive to or attracted by you. That is human nature.

In order to affair-proof your marriage, shake hands with this idea but also make sure that the door is not open to exploring or taking it any further than noticing it … because you KNOW that you will not follow up on any thing outside of your marriage.

Can You Be In Love With More Than One Person?

Yes, you can. That old song “Torn Between Two Lovers” may seem smarmy; however, it also can be very real.

The love that you feel for each person may be different. No love “feels” as good as new an secretive love. Your brain chemistry changes and produces feelings of near euphoria.

Affairs can feel like real love. They may or may not be real love. Long-term love can also be very real and feel stable and secure.

We would be interested in hearing your thoughts and experiences about being in love with two people at the same time.

Interested in reading more of our articles about affairs? Click here to check out our website, Healing-from-Affairs.com.