8. Don’t give up. Recognize that marriage takes work.

Changes take time. Changing feelings usually takes longer than changing actions and thoughts. Hang in there and look for ways to be patient, positive and calm. Don't expect perfection. Accept the imperfection and focus on all of the good in the relationship. Conclusion Making your marriage affair-proof is well worth the time and effort. It does require time and attention to your relationship but the efforts are well worth it with the security that comes from knowing you are in a committed relationship.

6. Be positive and focus on the good.

No one is perfect. We can all find something to be disappointed about with our partner and our relationship. Staying focused on the negative; however, only erodes feelings of good will. It is much easier to cheat on someone you are upset with than it is someone that you really like and respect. If you find yourself thinking about the negative, stop that thought. Do you need to have a conversation with your partner about the issue or do you need to let it go? Think about good things about him or her and find ways to appreciate the good in your relationship.

4. Talk openly about attractions to and from others.

Here is a tip that might seem like the absolutely worst thing to do; however, it is important. Don't keep secrets!

There are a lot of interesting and attractive people in this world. Some of those people might be ones that you see on a regular basis at work, in groups or in the neighborhood. Share your notice of these others with your spouse. Don’t keep it a secret. Talk together about how you might deal with that interest effectively.

Affair-Proof Your Marriage, Suggestion # 3

3. Don’t let hurts or disappointments build. Talk openly about what you want and need from your partner.

Holding on to things that bother you can only build up and cause unhappiness in your marriage. This provides fertile ground for noticing others, especially those who might be available or interested in listening to your complaints.

Be open with your partner in calm, direct and loving ways. Present your concerns in ways that allow for discussion and problem-solving.

Affair-Proof Your Marriage

There are many ways that faithful couples go about affair-proofing their marriage. In the next few blog entries, we will discuss some of them. We would be interested in your ideas as well. Please share them here with us.

What have you learned about making marriages work? What do you know that you want to do even more to make sure that an affair never happens in your marriage … or never happens again.

1. Start with the attitude of being certain that you will not stray.

Begin with the belief that you will guard against any relationship with another person that could lead to an affair, either an emotional one or a sexual affair.

Recognize that there are many people who are attractive and might be quite attractive to or attracted by you. That is human nature.

In order to affair-proof your marriage, shake hands with this idea but also make sure that the door is not open to exploring or taking it any further than noticing it … because you KNOW that you will not follow up on any thing outside of your marriage.