Many affairs that have continued over time grew out of friendship. They may have started as neighbors, co-workers or longtime friendships and a spark was ignited as time together or certain experiences enhanced positive feelings for each other. Even after making the decision to end the affair, it may be hard because of caring, warm and loving feelings that seem to be very real.
Other emotions that may contribute to having difficulty ending an affair have to do with emotions such as appreciation, respect, excitement and companionship that tie people together. This is why affair recovery work involves understanding the impact of the affair and finding ways to find those emotions inside of the marriage.
Proximity can also make it hard to break off an affair. When living near or working with someone you are attracted to and have had a relationship with, it is hard to let go of memories and contact. (A clean break is always best.) While resolve to end the affair may be strong at first, it can easily weaken with ongoing contact.
Affairs, new experiences, actually involve a release of increased serotonin in the brain which brings about an increased sense of happiness and excitement. This change in brain chemistry is, in itself, seductive. Who would want to let go of that? When this change is linked to an affair partner, it is hard to give up the “drug” that provides an overall sense of happiness and well-being.
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